My fav chapstick ever.

I'm addicted to chapstick. I am my father's daughter. I have a tube pretty much anywhere you can think of, and I really don't go anywhere without it. You never know when you'll need some chapstick at a moments notice or what random boy (Casey for me...not so random I guess) wants to kiss you and when.

When we went to Alaska for the first time in 2005, Katie and I discovered this blueberry chapstick made by Alaska Wild Teas.

Here it is:

It is my favorite. We have ordered a couple times since and bought a new stash when we went back to Alaska in 2009, and then ordered again.

I am officially on my last tube. Christmas is right around the corner though, so perhaps Santa will drop some in my stocking. Or maybe we'll just have to cruise back to Alaska.

You can order your own tube of the most amazing chapstick in the world at http://www.alaskaherbtea.com/lip_balm.htm

It's only $3.95 a tube. Practically giving it away, right? AND they have other flavors, but blueberry is THE absolute best. Just FYI.

Broken

I know most of you will laugh at me when I say this, but I wouldn't say it if I didn't truly believe it. I. FEEL. SO. OLD.

Seriously, in the last couple years, I've felt wayyyy older than I am. My knees hurt when I stand up, my joints crack, my back hurts after a hard run, bike, or weight session, even my toes hurt. Let alone my accident prone self and all the "self-inflicted" injuries, my joints and bones just aren't what they used to be. This includes fractures, broken bones, torn cartilage, surgeries, stitches. The works. If I were a pizza, I would be a supreme. Everything. All right here. Sometimes I just shake my head at myself...sometimes I can come up with no other word to describe myself but a mess. I even have borderline high cholesterol. I'm so ashamed! I'm 28! It runs in the family, but it still freaks me out. Even more because that means, I can't a whole lot about it. Especially cause I already eat healthy and exercise. Check. And check.

I don't know what it's from, but what I do know is that it's dejecting. It's frustrating. And honestly, it drives me to do more. More! More? How does that even help?

If I feel this way at 28, what in the world am I going to feel like at 58? I just cannot even fathom. Will I even be able to walk? Am I going to be able to play with my kids? Or even see them? This isn't dramatic, is it?

Here are the precautions I've adopted or considered in effort to combat the woes:

Vit D supplement
Multivitamin supplement
Calcium supplement
Yoga
Foam Rolling
Stretching
Sadly less running (More recovery time...insert more cross training here.)
Contemplating a conversion to Vegan lifestyle (I'm not sure I could actually do it though. But I do contemplate.)
Increased fiber (upped the fruits and veggie consumption)
Increased water
Increased coffee (I've heard it fights cancer. And I love coffee. Win-win...Right?)
More flossing

So with all these changes, I expect to be health as a horse in about 8 months. And to stay that way. Deal?

(I just picked 8 months cause it sounded good.)

I would like to close by saying that I am absolutely more than thankful for the health I do have and my abilities and passions. I do not take any of it for granted. I do get a little frustrated at the things I can't fix, but no one is perfect, right? It's okay to complain just a tiny little bit, huh? You know, venting...while it may not seem so, I know that I am beyond blessed.

Thankfulness

Thankfulness: gratitude; a positive emotion or attitude in acknowledgment of a benefit that one has received or will receive.

In some people you see thankfulness is very hard to come by. In others, you see it constantly. Mostly, you see it in people who get something back they thought they lost...love, abilities, things, etc. Other times, it takes a holiday to remind people to appreciate things and think about what they are thankful for. Why can't we be thankful everyday? Is that too much to ask? It seems like the world is just too full of busy these days.

I'm thankful for so many things.

My job, my husband, my family, my house, the ability to run (even when I'm hurt), freedom, happiness, joy, memories, apples, time, the puppy we have yet to get, coffee with peppermint mocha creamer. And so many other things. Really, everything. Cause none of us really deserve any of the things we are given. Only by grace do we even have this life. That's another thing I'm thankful for: Grace.

Casey and I have two thanksgivings to go to this year. I'm a little overwhelmed by the thought to be honest. That's a lot of food. And yeah, I get it, don't eat it all. That's a given. Just seeing it scares me! I don't even eat anymore at Thanksgiving than I usually eat. So I really don't know why.

Things I am super excited about making an appearance though:

Homemade applesauce
Turkey
Sweet Potato Casserole (LOVE! come on...ONCE a year...live a little)

And I don't even have cute clothes picked out yet. Sigh.

Okay, off to the gym so we can have two delicious Thanksgivings!

Oh, I'm also thankful for turkeys and days off work.

Aaand one more...

Yes, I know, ANOTHER happy birthday!! This time to my daddy. Best dad in the world.

I brought him a balloon today. And now we're off to Barnes and Noble for a coffee date. Birthdays are fun!

This is what we got him.

Vibram 5 fingers:

He's so funny with them. And so glad he likes them. I think Casey is jealous. He really wants some now. There's always more occasions for presents!

Belated Birthday Dinner

Casey's birthday was November 5th. He had guard duties (by the way, since he's an officer now, he's going to officer training school in Alabama. For 6 weeks. He's leaving me. For 6 weeks. Sigh. I'm sad and will miss him something serious). So I was going to make him a special birthday dinner on Friday, November 4th. That's the day we found out we had to say goodbye to Patch. So the dinner I had planned that would take 3 hours to make (I must realllly love him) definitely did not happen. I decided that I was going to make it when we were at the cabin this past Saturday. Yay!

On the menu:
Beef Wellington (Complete with sauteed mushrooms and onions and wrapped in a pastry)
Creamy Bacon Risotto
Crusty Broiled Tomatoes (Tastes and looks WAY better than it sounds. Trust me.)

We already had his special birthday dessert: Key Lime Pie.

I know, right. Did I miss my calling as a chef?

So, earlier last week I went grocery shopping for all the ingredients. I have to say, I was a little taken aback by the fact that beef tenderloins only come in like 30 pound pieces. Seriously? $113.00? For a piece of meat. I only needed 2 pounds. So I asked the meat guy if tenderloin came any smaller. He looked at me like I was dumb. Sorry, I'm not a meat connoisseur. Sheesh. There was no way I was going to pay 113 bucks for some meat mixed with some fat. I love Casey, but that is just a poor financial choice. I was so upset...no beef wellington. But I would improvise. Flank steak marinated with a special rub and broiled in the oven. It would do.

So I moved on to get the risotto ingredients. Risotto calls for Arborio rice. Apparently this rice is extra fancy cause it's EIGHT DOLLARS a bag. It's rice! Whatevs. Scratch that idea too.

It was getting quite ridiculous, and I was getting dejected. Instead, I decided I'd make quartered red skinned potatoes with a olive oil, rosemary, thyme, pepper, salt drizzling and roasted in oven. Casey loves these. I just don't ever make them anymore cause we try to use healthier sweet potatoes.

Sigh. The only thing that would work out about this birthday dinner was the crusty broiled tomatoes, and they don't even sound good. But here they are. Delicious. If I could just eat tomatoes for dinner, I would. I love tomatoes. They are so yummy.

Tomatoes:

Are you salivating? I thought so. I know you love tomatoes as much as I do. Might want to grab a napkin to wipe the drool off your mouth. And please understand that while I do like tomatoes, I do NOT understand the people who eat them like apples. No. Way. You will never catch me doing that.

On Saturday afternoon, Kate, Mom, and I went into Boone to see the bulldog puppies at Bulldog Beer and Wine. Last time Casey and I went there were two bulldogs. This time--THREE! What a surprise! We played with them for a good 30 minutes. My heart melted at least 82 times.
If you go to Boone, NC, please support Bulldog Beer and Wine. You can see their selection (and the adorable puppies!) at:

http://www.bulldogbeerandwine.com/

We got some good birthday beer for Dad and Casey. Lost Coast Raspberry Brown Ale. Sounds yummy. Here it is:

Casey's:

Dad's: In a coozie. Cause he loves coozies. It's funny.

The pink elephant glasses were my great grandfather's. They're beer glasses. The pink elephants are cause they used to say if you drink too much you'll start to see pink elephants. Haha. People were funny about their alcohol even a hundred years ago!

And then we made oatmeal chocolate chip bars (like a cookie but not, cause it was a bar) for dessert. So all in all I think it ended up to be a good birthday dinner. Even if it was late.

Cheers!

OCC in the House

Katie, Casey, and I put together two Operation Christmas Child boxes. We decided the hardest to pick things out for would be boy 10-14 years old. So that's what we chose. Up for the challenge. I certainly don't know what a 10-14 year old boy likes. And Casey doesn't even know. Growing up in these grief-stricken countries where luxuries don't exist is not exactly the same as growing up in America. And it's tough because they don't exactly envy each other for video games and fancy-pants-clothes and being allowed to have pizza for dinner. They get excited about the little things. Being given something. Or anything for that matter. Even just a box in pretty Christmas paper, not to mention what's inside.

So, we had some fun. We went to Wal-Mart and picked out some pret-ty awesome things. It's so fun to get stuff for other people. I wish we had a million boxes we could fill. And the shoe boxes just never seem big enough. I'm going to have to start buying some thigh high boots every year just to have a bigger box for our OCC peeps. I took some pictures of the stash below:

I hope they think we're cool.

An Important Discovery

Who here knew that Target sells peppermint whipped cream? The kind in the squirt can. Show of hands? Yeah, didn't think so. Completely new news to me! Dustin told me this at work yesterday, and I was just enthralled with the idea. It sounds so delightful that I want to go buy some! I have no idea what I would put it on. But it would be good to have in case I find something. In case you don't have a Target near you, you can make your own! I found this recipe:

Peppermint Whipped Cream Recipe:
5 peppermint candy canes – or spearmint candies work too
16 oz. heavy whipping cream – or 16 oz of frozen whipped cream
blender
hot cocoa

Simply crush your candy canes in a blender, whip up your whipping cream (it says you don’t need to add any sweetener to it, since you’ve got the candy canes! but who knows), and then stir in your crushed candy canes (once your whipping cream is whipped). Dollop on something.

AND a picture!

Yum! Ho Cho time. With extra whipped please.

'Tis the season!

Mountain Goat

So this weekend is our first weekend to the cabin without our little mountain goat. She LOVED the hills in Boone. It was so funny. I feel like she'd be walking perpendicular to the flat ground going up a hill, and she'd just scamper on up! We're talking legit mountain goat material here. I think her little legs and tight core musculature (she worked out alot) gave her an advantage. And the natural grace she had.

Now Who's going to sit on the porch and watch for deer?

Who's going to play scrabble with us?

Who's going to shine in the mountain sunlight like an angel?

Who's going to enjoy the car ride like this little face did (especially in Mr. CTS)?

Who's going to breath in the clean mountain air with us (in the driveway)?

Who's going to guard the basement like she does?

Here's a couple other things Patch enjoyed doing in the mountains:

How could you not love this angel? She's so adorable. We'll definitely miss her up there. Sitting on the porch and looking out was seriously one of her favorite things. It was just so incredibly precious.

"God brings man into deep waters, not to drown him, but to cleanse him and prepare him for a greater usefulness."

Dr. Paul Chappell

Vinyasa it up

Okay, kids. Casey and I went to our second awesome yoga class last night.

We love it.

I'm so on board with it, that I've already added yoga mats for us to the Christmas list. Here are the ones we both like.

Pam (Prosperity):


Casey (Karmic Bliss):


We decided if we're gonna really get into this, then we don't want to get a disease from communal yoga mats. Am I right or am I right?

And then I spent an hour looking up yoga mat bags online. I found an AWESOME one on Etsy. Unfortunately, it was $120. Seriously? For a bag. For a yoga mat bag. Yes, seriously. I love it. But I would never pay that. There were others that were cute, but this one was beautiful. Actually, here it is:





Yeah, how beautiful is this bag?

Then, I found these (below) and thought, this could totally be a mother-daughter project (momma?)! We could make our own. I can finally learn to sew more than a button! This doesn't look that hard. And as a bonus, they would be totally unique. And I could make a manly one for Casey. Hopefully I can learn to sew well enough to make it look as good as the one above. That's the one I reallly love. No? We'll see. Here are the simpler ones that made me think, pssht. Can totally do that.



I like how this bag's strap is an old necktie. LOVE! How creative!



So after I finally stopped looking up yoga mat bags, Katie comments from down the hall at the laundry room, "You would think you guys had been to more than two yoga classes the way you are looking at those bags and mats" Hahaha. She's so funny. And so right. But we've found a new hobby and we need to look super cool, and our muscles thank us for it too.

Oh my good gracious

I really am not a fan of when people put up pictures of their meals, snacks, desserts, and latest creations on FB. I don't know why. I really don't. So I resisted, but then gave in on blogging about the two fabulous items below.

Okay, so there's two desserts that I just love.

The first (thankfully) I cannot have anytime I want. I have to pay to go on a cruise to get it. Specifically a Carnival Cruise. It's called Chocolate Melting Cake. It's glorious.

On our honeymoon, I had one every night. When it's one of the few things you splurge on on the ship, then it's totally cancelled out by taking the stairs EVERYWHERE and the standard daily run. So it's really not an issue. But look at this thing:



Casey found a recipe for said Chocolate Melting Cake. The same recipe Carnival uses. I haven't tried it yet. Merely because I haven't had occasion to make it and what if it doesn't turn out right? Horrors. And partly because I want to save the enjoyment for cruising. My mindset may change when we stop going on annual cruises.

Here's their not-so-secret recipe:

http://www.examiner.com/cruise-ships-in-charlotte/carnival-cruises-warm-chocolate-melting-cake-secret-recipe-revealed

The second is cookie cake. You know the kind the Harris Teeter bakery makes? YUM. It's so soft, but firm enough to not fall apart which is way fun. And not super super sweet. And it can still be decorated like a regular cake. And sometimes, if you catch them at the right time, they are on sale for $3 off. We do this for some birthdays or a graduation or a new baby or something along those lines. With a scoop of fro yo, it's delish. Anyways, someone I went to high school with posted this on FB. Take a look. It looks amazing! But really rich actually. So I'm not sure about it. But take a look anyways. It looks fun to make too! If you decide to try it, please give me a full review.

Here it is (I think my eyes got really big when I saw it):



And see the recipe here:

http://www.sophistimom.com/one-pan-skillet-cookie

Happy baking!!

**I'd like to apologize that I still have not figured out how to do clickable links. Sigh. I need to take a techie class or some shizz.

Happiness

I found this quote, and I love it.

I think everyone should fully embrace it.

"When I was 5 years old, my mother told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked what I wanted to be when I grow up. I said happy. They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life."


On a side note, Casey and I are going to the grocery store tonight. That means we get to buy more honey crisp apples. Excitement!!!
.

Yesterday

Shout out to my Katie. Happppppy Birthdayyyyyyyyyyy! It was actually yesterday, but I didn't have a computer all weekend. We were living it up in Pittsburgh. What better day than a Sunday for November 13th to be? Especially for my sweet blessing of a sister and friend. I love her.

Stacie and I filled the bathroom with a sea of balloons for her to walk into when she woke up. I think I doubled my lung capacity. Those were the hardest balloons I've ever had to blow up. And we confetti-ed her oatmeal bowl. Yay. And gave her a "Party Girl" pin to wear.

She's so adorable with her party-pin!! And even with her sad-face cause she's not a fan of Bdays. Ha ha. Here she is:

4 Things I Learned This Week

A couple new things happened this week.

1) Casey and I went to our very first yoga class. Together! On Tuesday. Vinyasa yoga. If you do not know what this is: Vinyasa is a term that covers a broad range of yoga classes. The word Vinyasa means “breath-synchronized movement.” In other words, the teacher will instruct you to move from one pose to the next on an inhale or an exhale. This technique is sometimes also called Vinyasa Flow, or just Flow because of the smooth way that the poses run together and become like a dance. It was so cool and empowering. It'll be our Tuesday night date.

I was impressed by how well we both did considering it was our first class, but I think with staying focused on the movements and utilizing our strength base, it was totes (another abbreviation Katie and I are trying out...for totally...I think it's catching on) awesome. We didn't feel clumsy or out-of-place which kinda surprised me, but we still have lots of practicing to do. We can catch on and keep up, but we are not nearly noodly enough to do all the fancy poses. And we have to concentrate alot because we don't know the poses yet. And two thumbs up to instructor Anje. She was great. Go to the Siskey Y for her yoga classes. You will not regret it. But don't go to our Tuesday night class because it was pretty full, and we don't want to be booted. Just sayin.

This is what we looked like:



Next on our list is hot yoga, but considering we were sweating in a normal temp class, I'm kind of worried that my hand will slip on the mat during a pose because of the sweat and I'll break something...or that I'll pass out from heat exhausting. Is that overly dramatic? We'll see. I even find myself practicing yoga poses at home now. So fun!

I think Casey should wear yoga pants and a tight tank top and a sweatband to the next class. I feel like that's very yoga. I should wear my chacos. And we should invest in mats and the cool carrying cases. I'm so into this now.

2) A self-discovery. Of awesome honey crisp apples are. (Casey keeps calling them honey nut apples. He cracks me up.) Seriously, I've never had them until this week. They are AMAZE. But so expensive. We picked out 5 apples. FIVE! The cost? Just under $10. I decided we officially need to become Johnny Appleseeds and plant some trees out back. Casey and I both have been eating one everyday. Go apples! For a while, I was nearly sold on substituting my love for apples with bananas because I had not had ANY good ones in too long and was getting frustrated with the poor selection...until this week. However, the price of bananas is still way better. I feel like I could buy a whole bushel for the cost of 5 honey crisp. But I'm telling you, especially if you've never tasted, that they are delicious. And they are on sale at Lowe's foods right now.

And I just found out the apple has its own website. Ballllin.
www.honeycrisp.com



3) I learned that my phone from 1982 will not cut it much longer. It's struggling with memory loss. T9 is failing me and spitting out crazy combinations of letters. And sometimes I push letters and they do not show up on the screen. All systems failing. This worries me because I pride myself on not having a smart phone. But, I feel like that's all that's available these days. And the monthly cost is absurd! Sigh. We'll see. This time next month, I may be singing a different tune. I'm strongly against advanced technology. I guess this is strange considering I'm in the science research field, but still. My thinking is this: the more complicated and intense something is, the more there is to malfunction or the higher the likelihood that some part of it will fail or break. Unfortunately, my simplistic 80's phone (it's really from early 2000, but still) has simply had all it can take. We've had a good run.

This is my phone (I bet you forgot phones like this ever existed):



4) Nooks are awesome. I borrowed my dad's last week. So I learned this last week truthfully, but I'm still including it. I feel so technologically savvy. I know it seems contradictory to my last post. But it's really not. We're talking apples and oranges here. So many books in one handheld device. It's fantastic. There's something about actually holding a book and having some books on the shelf, but for alot of books that people buy and then don't know what to do with--a Nook is great. You don't have to store anything! I know I already mentioned Casey loves his too. But I feel like everyone that reads alot has one now. That or a Kindle anyways, so when I read the Nook in public, I feel like people are thinking "that's a true book-lover right there." Dumb? Perhaps. I just can't help the way it makes me feel. If you are interested, go www.barnesandnoble.com and view the picture here:

Spintastic tunes

This title is a pun. Creative Casey came up with this name for the playlist I created to lead Kate in a little spin class on Saturday. So Stacie coaches high school swimmers. They have practice Saturday morning. The school has spin bikes. So Kate and I will spin during practice Saturday morning. Natch. My task this week was to come up with an awesome playlist and class design. Now, I don't want to brag, but I am a Spin Instructor. The real thing. Certified. I've just never utilized my knowledge because my job keeps me kinda busy. Certified BA Spin Instructor though.

My certification lapses in May, and I've been contemplating paying for CEC's (also known as Star Points in the Spin world) to keep my prestigious instructor status current. I guess tomorrow's class will give me the answer I've been looking for. Do I like teaching or do I just enjoy participating? I've been spinning myself for a long time, and I like that. But teaching, we'll see. Let's take a quick poll here:

Renew: yes or no?

So, we'll see. Maybe I should print a survey and evaluation form to hand out to my participants after class. Stacie said she might have her sprinters join spin class. I told Katie that she better warn them to "prepare to die." I'm just saying I'm kiiind of hard core. No big. This class might be torturous. I have 90 minutes of butt-burning, legs-on-fire torture prepared. Well, I hope anyways. Katie suggested I put out a tip jar for donations. Are we at a bar? I suggested leaving scrap paper for them to write their credit card numbers down on the way out. High school kids don't know any better, right? Is that unethical?

Of course, I could make the class a little user-friendly...I know as an instructor that it's key to make your class versatile, but not this time. Not if it's my workout too, as tomorrow is, then I'm certainly going to make it tough. Balls to the wall. Can I say that when I'm a girl? Anyways, be prepared. Besides I have to show these young-gun swimmers what for.

(That was also a plug for my services if anyone knows anyone who needs a spin instructor.)

Pittsburgh, baby!!

So I really contemplated quitting the blogging world so that my blog about Patch would always be at the top of my blog page, but Patch would not have wanted that :) She just has the sweetest little heart. And speaking of our little lamb, look at these awesome flowers that someone I work with brought for me because she knew about Patch.



I gave half of them to Mom and Dad to have at their house and we have half at our house. She knows I love purple. What she doesn't know though is that Patch likes sunflowers. So I think it'a God thing. Here's Patch sniffing some sunflowers we got for mom for Mother's day 2 years ago. Anyways, I love the flowers!



SO this weekend is a little trip up north to a little place I like to call Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where a fabulous redhead (Stacie) lives with her entourage (Dave and Ninja and Daisy).

Kate and I are going for her birthday weekend--partyyy. I could not be more excited! I love Stacie. I love Katie. And I love birthdays!!

AND complete with a direct flight? Yes, please! I cannot remember the last time I had a straight-through flight to anywhere. It's going to be fantastic. And Kate and I have a date to get Pumpkin Pie Lattes at the Sbux in the airport. Fun? I think so.

Casey's super sweet, so he surprised me and Kate with the latest People mag for the plane. We'll get the latest ish on Kim Kardashian and her failed marriage and other juicy gossip.

We've got big plans. So big, I can't even reveal them here.

I remember my third trip to Pittsburgh--when Katie lived at Arlington--I was greeted at the airport by Stacie (first time I ever met her) and there was a HUGE welcome sign her and Katie had created just for me. I knew it was the beginning of a fabulous and forever friendship. Multiple visits to Pittsburgh, a 14 day cruise around the world (basically), visits to Charlotte, and 2 weddings later, we have a birthday weekend planned.

WOOHOO.

Small confession: I have not fully packed yet. And my packing list was not finalized until yesterday. Whatevs. It's been a long week.

Missing my littlest lamb...

I miss my sweet Patch like Woah.



Friday, November 4 was one of the hardest days of late. I had to go say goodbye to her. THankfully, we didn't have much going on at work on Friday, so as soon as I got Katie's phone call, I threw all my stuff into a bag and jetted out of there. I cried and played a slide show in my mind all the way to Mom and Dad's of the wonderful, sweet, loving, funny moments with Patch. Of images instilled in my mind of her and things she likes to do. I'm thankful for pictures because even now I feel like I can't remember everything. At the same time, I wish I had taken so many more pictures.

But pictures can't replace her presence. Her sweet, precious little puppy soul. She was one of my BFF's. Daddy was her BFF. He was her favorite. She went to work with him, worked out with him, ate meals with him, read the paper with him, got the mail and newspaper with him, slept next to him. She loved all of us so much, but he was the apple of her eye. Her favorite thing was quality time and just being touched and cuddled. Those were definitely her favorites. She would come and find us in the house or look at me with pleading eyes and scratch at my feet to sit on the floor with her--at her level--if I was sitting in a chair or on the couch. I loved this. I loved that she wanted me near her and to spend time with her. Quality time and to be touched and loved. Just like a person. She was no ordinary dog that's for sure. She really wasn't. I feel like lots of people say that about dogs, but it's especially true for Patch. She thrived on those things and you could tell it made her happy. You could see joy in her little face.

There are so many things to remember, I could never write it all or this would be a book. But on Friday, when I walked into Mom and Dad's and Patch wasn't there, I started sobbing all over again. I knew it would now always be like this. She wouldn't be there when I walked in and I so desperately wanted her to be there. So we went to the vet to see her and we stayed with her for about an hour. It wasn't until Dad got there after work that she was calmer, more at peace, happier. She just walked with him and followed him and wanted to be with him. It was the most precious sight. I love that I got to say goodbye, but I want my last hug back, I want to whisper how much I love her and will miss her in her ear again.

Now when we're at our house and I say I miss Patch, I know I won't be saying it knowing I'll get to see her on the weekend. Instead, I'll say it knowing I don't get to see her again. I'm convinced, truly convinced, that God wants us to be happy, especially in Heaven. We'll know nothing but happiness in Heaven. He knows the joy we have in our dogs. So I think Patch is in Heaven. Playing with Pumpkin. Her sister who she's missed for 6 years. Is that silly?? But they're playing, and then when I get there I'll get to cuddle and love on both of them.

There's so many things I would say or do that now I just can't picture myself saying or doing because I know Patch isn't there to do them with me. I can't stand the thought of another puppy, because how can I replace Patch? Or better yet, how can I go through this again? I was telling Casey, you would think the more you have to say goodbye to a special furry friend, the easier it would get. But I don't think so. I think it get's harder. Every time. Because each one you get, you want to love more than the last, so you can give that sidekick more of you than the last. And that only makes it harder to say goodbye. I'm afraid for Casey and I to get our own puppy now. As much as we so wanted one before, we've agreed not to talk about it until I feel like I'm ready. At this rate, I don't think I'll ever be ready.

I gave her a blanket last week to put in her bed for extra warmth and cuddle purposes when Katie, Casey, and I stayed with her. On Friday, I brought it back. It is now the most special blanket to me. As much as we try to protect our little friends, there is a point when there is no more we can do. Patch had the most wonderful, caring, loving, adoring parents though :) She had the best life a dog could want, and she was a healthy little thing until her last day. And I miss her. Everytime I see a picture or think her, I cry. At this point, it seems like I always will, even though I know I won't always.

Sunday morning I was up super early, so I decided to have some cereal. We had a special cereal. Magic Stars (it's actually the HT brand of Lucky Charms). I opened the box and looked down and all I saw was oat pieces. No marshmallows. My heart sunk. So I poured some into my bowl cause the oats are healthier anyways. But miraculously out flowed a bunch of marshmallows! I was thrilled. Where did they come from! I know it seems silly, but it looked so empty, and I was so dejected when I initially looked in the box, kinda how I feel now. Then when I saw all the marshmallows, I felt like it was a little piece of God's promise that He has so many hidden blessings for me. And I know He does even in the midst of my hurt. I'm just sad right now.

Here are all my blessings:



I also took a picture of my set-up on Sunday morning. By myself as the sun came up. Here's my marshmallow filled bowl, with my yummy coffee, Patch's blanket that I hold, and some pictures of her I was looking at. 12 years was not long enough for the sweetness that filled her heart. She gave us ALL the love she had. I'm totally convinced of that. She was the most perfect pup ever.



We miss our little angel.

I'll post more sweet pictures of her later, but for now, to get your heart filled with overwhelming adorable-ness please visit the "True Life: I Have a Rockstar Dog" from September. I'm so glad I wrote that blog. We're more insistent than ever that we'll write those children's books about Patch now.

Saturday, November 5

This day was Casey's birthday!!I got him a cool balloon and hung a happy birthday sign in the kitchen and woke him up on Saturday morning to the sound of my sweet, angelic voice singing him Happy Birthday. What more could a guy want?

Then I made him coffee and french toast with strawberries...and sugar free syrup...this was an adjustment for him when we got married, but one that was easy. I promise the SF syrup tastes way better than the thick, sugary real stuff. Promise. I tried to turn on sports center for him, but I couldn't find it for the life of me, so I gave him the remote and told him sports center was what was supposed to be on TV and brought in french toast with strawberries and candles. He made a wish. I'm not sure what it was, but I'm dying to know and see if it will come true.

We ate our lovely breakfast, and he had presents thrown at him by myself and Katie. The most awesome thing I got him was a Nook (p.s. I was thrilled at how much he genuinely loved it. I knew he would like it, but he loves it, and this makes me so happy). He had to go to guard this past weekend (bummer for not being able to spend his birthday together), so then he left for the day. I was sad, but got the house cleaned, laundry done, workout done, and his bday dessert made! Woot woot. Only with the help of my fabulous assistant, Katie. Natch. (That means naturally. It's the newest abbreviate Katie and I spotted in reading a magazine. Just trying it out to see if I like it.)

Here's Casey with his set-up Saturday morning (please ignore the moustache...it's for Movember. But if you don't ignore it and want to donate to the cause, please go to the following link: http://us.movember.com/?ref=nf)



Katie and I slaved over some teeny tiny key limes which are a B to find anyways. The only place I know of their existence is the Fresh Market. So if you ever want to make truly fresh key lime pie, that's the only option I'm sure. It's like no other stores think people want to spend an hour squeezing key limes for their fingers to cramp in the claw position. Cross your fingers for a Fresh Market in your town. It's a pretty tedious endeavor, just the squeezing limes part. The rest is super easy. It turned out SO PRETTY! Homemade graham cracker crust, homemade filling, and homemade whipped cream. I should have my own cooking show. Anyhow, I'm convinced that restaurants who make "fresh, homemade" key lime pie--they cheat. They probably use key lime juice in a bottle. There is absolutely no way that they slave to squeeze key limes if they are producing more than one pie a day. So this is your warning, do not be fooled by them.

So Casey and I went on a walk in the beautiful fall weather Saturday afternoon, and had birthday pie and just cuddled. Mostly he held me cause I was thinking about Patch. He's so giving and special to just sit with me and expect nothing more on his birthday.

I forgot to take a picture of the whole pie, so here's a picture of what is left. Jelly?? You should be. It's only the second time I've ever made one for Casey. It makes it more special. And it's the first time I've ever tasted one. And the tart, sweet contrast was perfecto. If I was Italian, this is where I would bring my fingers together and kiss them in the air...do you know what I'm talking about?? I feel like Giada does it sometimes, so if you watch her on Food Network, you can say it's because you're looking for this. Men (although I'm sure no men read this), now you have an excuse to watch Giada other than the fact that she's hot. Seriously, I read in a mag the other day that she is Food Network's sex symbol...really? I mean she's a cute, vivacious little thing, but a food show sex symbol? Beyond me...

So here's a picture of the rest of the pie.



And here's Casey's cute little card that I gave him. Notice the little words that spring out of the front! It says "I'm crazy about you". Cause I am. Crazy about him.



Anyways, I love him to pieces. And below is a list of 28 things I love. There's so many more, but he turned 28 so I had to limit myself. Good thing we'll have so many more years together so I can add to the list each year.

28th bday:

Casey, 2 years ago, I gave you a list of all the reasons why I love you. Now here is a list of the things I love about you and why I am so in love with you…

1. The way your eyes crinkle and sparkle when you laugh and smile
2. The way you hold me and don’t want to let me go when the alarm goes off in the morning
3. The way you try to like the silly shows I like on tv and then get into them
4. The way your tongue pops out of your mouth when you’re concentrating or working really hard
5. The way you help around the house: making the bed, cleaning, taking out trash, doing dishes, anything to help me
6. The way you hug me tight when I’m frustrated or sad or upset
7. The way you hug me tight when I’m happy
8. The way you hold my hand and sneak in kisses…your touch in general
9. The way you drive when we’re together cause I HATE driving and cars
10. The way you are so handsome and cute and don’t even have to try…you just are, and you're mine
11. The way you look at me
12. Your priceless expressions
13. Your sense of humor…you ALWAYS makes me laugh…and when you think I’m funny too
14. The way you always tells me I’m beautiful even when I don’t feel like I am...
15. The way you love my family…just as much as I do
16. How you always tells me how much you love me
17. The way you tell me you appreciate me and your respect for me
18. You're not afraid to say sorry…you're one of the most humble men I know
19. When you run with me even on the days you don’t feel like it
20. When you cook when you know I’ve had a long day or even just because
21. Your willingness and generosity and desire to put me first
22. Your longing to make our marriage always better
23. You are a wonderful communicator and the way you talk to me…about anything and everything
24. You don’t ever raise your voice at me
25. You don’t walk away from struggles or problems, but instead face them head on…with me
26. The way you hold my fragile heart so gently
27. Because of the man you have become, the husband you are, and the father you want to be
28. Because you're so special, every day should be your birthday, and who could help but to love you?

Today

Today is Sunday, and I woke up at 5 cause I had a bad dream about Patch. I miss her. I will have to write about her again in the next few days. I just can't do it right now.

Casey left before 6 am for Guard, and so I got up and got my coffee together and used my new cream. Usually I just buy my regular Fat Free French Vanilla Cream (whatever brand is cheapest...I'm not picky), but on Friday I decided to branch out. What! Make a crazy decision. Are we talking about the same Pam?! So I bought Coffeemate Mocha Peppermint.

Not without checking with my reliable source (Katie) first. She is an expert on coffee cream. She is fearless is trying new flavors. She's brave. Spontaneous. Too bad I'm so routine sometimes. I like to say it's because I know what I like, but I think really, I just like to play it safe sometimes. So I decided to be bold on Friday. It seemed like a winter flavor, and it sounded delicious. (Plus I had a coupon AND it was on sale). So I bit the bullet, and it is now sitting on the top shelf of our refrigerator.

I used it this morning for the first time, and can I just say it is A-mazing? I highly recommend it to add a little zest to the morning. I couldn't have it all the time. But the small container was definitely a smart move. Two thumbs up, Coffemate. Please go to your nearest grocer to purchase this item immediately. I'm telling you, you will not regret it. Unless you hate coffee. Or if you hate chocolate and peppermint together. All I have to say about that is I don't have to worry about Casey stealing my cream or sneaking sips of my coffee. JK JK, we happily share everything, but he hates the chocolate-peppermint trend, so I get it all to myself.

And YAY for good coffee!

Okay, so I need to confess. I guess I still played it safe because I bought a back up of my usual cream in case I had to spit out the new one due to disgusting-ness. But, hey, at least now I won't run out for a while.

Just passing the early morning time blogging and with coffee. I was tempted to watch "Say Yes to the Dress" until I need to start getting ready for Church, but I watched two hours of it with Patch on Monday. Cuddled up with her sweet self on the floor. Just me and her. And I don't know that I can watch it just yet. What I wouldn't give for one more sweet kiss from her.

My week at a glance.

So I'm sitting here at work wondering how to begin this blog.

Then Casey texts me to ask me how my day is, and I've decided that the text I sent him in response pretty much sums up my week.

I'm sitting here at my desk shivering in a boot, my glasses, and khaki pants with zone bar "chocolate" flakes melted into them and water dripped on them. I look like I went to the bathroom in my pants.

Yes, this is my week. Disastrous. Everyone tells me it could be worse, and yes, I totally get that, but it seems like life is unraveling right now. One thing after the other. And when it feels like the world is against you (cause it is, right?) then it's always the close sequence of the smallest things that make everything worse.

So Monday, I took off work to go to the doctor and hang out with Patch. I love Patch. But I had to go to the doctor. I hate going to the doctor.

Then yesterday, I had to go to the dentist. Usually I love the dentist. But not this time. I had two cavities. I'm SO embarrassed. The dentist said it wasn't my fault. It's the way my teeth are shaped in those 2 specific teeth that I just couldn't get to it no matter how much I brushed. This was depressing for three reasons. I love brushing my teeth. I always do it, and sometimes too much. I feel like I failed in my dental hygiene. I HATE failure. Secondly, the money. They are so expensive. Casey and I had just ironed out our plan for paying off his school loans and the furniture upstairs, and I felt so good about it. And BAM. Nearly $400 for fillings. And the last day to sign up for dental insurance for the year? Yeah, that was last week. Yeah, I didn't sign up because my teeth are always so clean and right on. Fail. This is after the $184 I paid for just my check-up and exam. Sigh. Thirdly, for the time. I left work early yesterday for my cleaning. And now I have to leave early today to go back.

So, yesterday, I also noticed excessive swelling in my right foot. And by right, I mean left foot. My left foot. I've been fighting a stress reaction. My athletic trainer says this is the step before a stress fracture. So we have to nip in the bud before it gets any worse. I've been taping and wrapping and cross training. I haven't even run since last, last Saturday and it's killing me. And a couple weeks ago I banished myself to the elliptical. None of it is helping. So I pushed on the swelling in my foot and it left an imprint of my finger. Like Gak. Do you remember Gak? I have a Gak foot. So I told myself I HAVE to start wearing my walking boot. So here I am today. In my boot. I will only take it off to go to the gym (and not run) and to sleep. It only hurts to push on my third and fourth metatarsals--not to walk or run or jump or skip. This makes it soooo much more tempting to run too. I'm pretty down in the dumps about this.

And finally, remember my eye problems from a little bit ago?? Yeah, that's back too. I looked in the mirror yesterday, and it appears my eye has been taken over by the devil. It's red as red can be. Same old story. So here I am in my glasses.

I can't see, I can't walk, I can't brush my teeth right, I can't even keep the water from my water bottle in my mouth.

This is only the the tip of the iceburg, but I'll stop here. I don't want to complain too terribly much. I'm just frustrated. Discouraged. Upset. And it's ONLY Wednesday. Some days I just want to give up. What if I quit exercising everyday? And let my teeth fall out? And wore dirty clothes? That'd be okay, right?

Unfortunately (or fortunately), I don't think I could ever do any of those things...

November

November is pretty much an onslaught of birthdays. Big deal birthdays too.

Boom. The 5th is Casey's. He'll finally be the same age as me. No more robbing the cradle. Boom. The 13th is Katie's. She'll be a young 25. Boom. The 23rd is Dad's. He'll be a young 39. (Just go with it all.)

Then everything just flies by cause we have Thanksgiving then Christmas then anniversaries and a New Year and more birthdays, and before I know it, Casey and I will be celebrating our first anniversary.

Time FLIES the older you get. When I was little people always told me that, but you kinda don't believe them until you're there. And I'm finally there. I'm here. I feel like I'm older. Because time flies. Moments disappear right before my very eyes.

So here's my tribute to 3 very important people in my life. Go November birthdays! And HAPPY BIRTHDAY to 3 very important people in my life!