Painty McPainterson

That's my new name. Partly because I'm so proud of the fact that I painted two (fairly tiny but complex) spaces yesterday. How long did it take me you ask? Well, actually it took me 12 hours. With a break in the middle for a protein shake (long-lasting fuel) and a run (sanity) and some jelly beans (quick fuel and frustration relief).

So that's 2 coats of primer, 2 first coats, and 2 second coats...along with running ladders and brushes and trays and paint tape and protective floor coverings up and down the stairs everytime I switched bathrooms. I mean, I feel like I had a pretty good system. You're probably going to want to hire me to paint your next room, except I won't take the job or will charge an exorbitant amount of money because despite my new name, I do not like that job. It's not bad except when you're on a time crunch and your fingers cramp up like the claw from holding the paint brush so tightly so you don't drop it from 14 feet up on the ladder (Exaggeration? possibly but not likely).

And then there's all the compromising positions. Painting is SO DANGEROUS. I mean, when you're in a small or oddly constructed space (characteristic of bathrooms because of all the typical fixtures...sinks, toilets, you know the uje) it's so difficult to fit a ladder in there. I tried 3 different step stools only to realize that the ladder was my only option to reach the top trim on the far wall and the two far corners behind the potty. Sigh. So I start limbering up and have a quick stretch sesh so I can do yoga up on the ladder to reach what needs to be reached. It's a little thing I like to call committment.

I had three options:
A) Open the ladder and stretch as far as my arm would possibly reach and then some, which would result in a very unsteady hand and strained oblique (seriously about the strained oblique).

B) Don't use the ladder and stand on top of the toilet (covered in fabric mind you to protect it from wild painting) so it was slippery beyond slippery. I felt like I was rock climbing the way I was trying to balance and hug the wall as to not fall to my death.

C) Or don't open the ladder and just stand it up in the corner and pray it doesn't fall over.

I tried all these options and settled on the latter (haha, no pun intended). So I braced myself and prayed I didn't slip or fall. The only thoughts running through my head were what if I fall? Hitting the toilet and bouncing to the sink would not feel good. Would I have to quick running? I'd probably knock myself out and then who would call 911? I don't have a puppy yet and Casey isn't home. If I break my back, will I be able to crawl towards my phone? Suffice it to say, if you don't have life insurance policy before taking on this endeavor, I strongly recommend purchasing.

So once I got it all figured out--the best way to do the edging with a steady, swift swipe of the hand (and trying NOT to get it all over the trim and the adjoining wall...who needs paint tape?) and the most efficient way to paint corners and roll, I was cruisin with my top down (that means cool, I didn't really have my top down, but like a convertible...top down).

Despite the fact that I broke my knee open AGAIN, backed my butt into a freshly painted wall (I know have offical painting clothes), and didn't get enough paint off my roller the first time (it rained "magician's cloak" purple all over me...and the rest of the bathroom), and bent over to get my cleaning rag and my hair brushed a freshly painted wall, I finally got the hang of it by the time my second coat of my second bathroom came around. By then I got my second wind and really felt like an expert. After 10.5 hours. Bring. It. On.

I discovered that head lamps are good for more than hiking and camping and spalunking, they are excellent for painting a small space eggplant-wine-purple when the sun has gone down. Who says you can't paint in the dark now?

It was quite the experience. I don't know how people do this for a living or have the patience to do it for a living. But I'll tell you, It was like a mini workout before and after my run. Trouncing up and down the stairs so many times, holding a squat position to get just the right angle, holding my abs tight so I don't move an inch and fall off whatever I was teetering on, and all that rolling, I tell you what...I actually woke up sore today (this is a little embarrassing).

So just when I thought I could handle being a painter, I go to close my last can of paint for the night, and somehow whatever paint was on the edge of the lid, decides to give me one last spray...magician's cloak all over the door trim and a white wall. I think my project for tonight is a little touching up.

Until we decide to paint again...(Katie, if you hate the color in your bathroom so much you have to close your eyes to walk in, we'll change it. Pronto.)

Oh, and I'd like to give a shout out to my babe for making dinner. If he hadn't, we would've probably had dinner at 11 pm or even this morning instead of the already-late-9 pm dinner time we had ("I HAVE to finish"...that's what I told him all dramatic like). Sorry, honey!