The Birthday Monster

Somebody has a birthday coming up soon...and by soon, I mean in two days.

You guessed it--this girl.

I just, I don't like birthdays because I feel like that means I'm even more of an adult than I was last year, and how adult can you actually get? I don't even know what's possible or even how all this works. I mean don't get me wrong, sometimes I still think I'm 22, but other times I feel like I'm 35 (ok, that might be pushing it a smidge). However, I'm often mistaken for 16 or 18 or some other absurdity along the same lines.

To give you a few examples:

a) I was in the ABC store one time and purchasing a beverage, and the man behind the counter asks me for an id and proceeds to ask if I'm even old enough to buy cigarettes. Actually, sir, I don't know. I have no desire to smoke, so I really don't even know how old you have to be to buy cigarettes. I imagine it's around 16 years old...does this mean I look 15?

b) Me and Fancypants Jr. and Ashley Marie were in Charleston recently (lovely, rockin little town)...a tour guide asked us if were there on Spring Break. High school? College? I'm really not sure (but props to us for looking wrinkle-free). And was he looking to rob the cradle? Illegal activities? I'm not sure where exactly he was going with that...we kept walking. Probably at a little bit quicker pace than we started out at.

c) I was looking at jewelry for the wedding...MY wedding. The sales lady in the jewelry store asks if I'm looking for earrings for prom...yes, I am actually. To go with my sequined rainbow color dress and peacock feather in my curly-sue curled hair. No actually, that's a JK, I'm the bride. That's all what I wanted to say, but I think I may have looked at her blankly. I feel like I make this face alot. I need to learn to censor my expressions I think.

(P.s. I'd like to add that I used that phrase to justify so many things in the couple months right before the wedding "because I'm the bride"...and we decided that I could use it until the honeymoon was over. But, I feel like I really can keep using it until we get the professional pictures back. I'm lobbying for an extension of my bride-ness. And since no one is objecting, I think everyone is on board. That was much easier than I anticipated.)


d) I was getting a manicure circa April 2011, and the lady doing my nails asks me if I'm graduating this weekend. I'm flattered, really, and I know UNCC is down the road, but come on. Or maybe she meant high school...


I really do NOT have a problem with this. I think it's funny, and I LOVE it (except when it diminishes the respect I get and the responsibility people think I have). And it helps stave off the fears of the birthday monster. And my cute little momma looks about 30, so I think I have some good genes waiting for me.

It's funny how things change though. When I was little, birthdays were:
1. taking cupcakes to school (not for me though, cause I'm a summer baby),
2. sitting in the front seat of the car all week (you didn't have to stay in the car for the full week...you could get in and out, but when you went somewhere, you didn't have to rotate with sisters during birthday week),
3. favorite birthday cereal (with no exceptions even if sugar-level was off the charts and ALL to yourself with no obligation to share with sisters! yes, please!),
4. wearing mom's lipstick for the day (inevitably to make you look that year older? no? or just cause it was so special),
5. and birthday dinner!

Now, I have no classroom to take cupcakes to, I HAVE to sit in the front seat all the time (because my car will not drive itself to work, not sure why yet and it's really beyond me, what with all this technology and what not), I can buy my own cereal (which I don't do and even if I did I wouldn't have time to eat it before work in the mornings), and I have my own lipstick.

The older you get the more time flies, and the less the little things seem so special. So I do wish it was my 8th birthday instead of my 28th birthday, but I'm so blessed and have so many truly amazing people in my life and experiences under my belt, that I guess it kinda makes being 28 not-so-bad.

So yes, my birthday is coming too quickly, and I don't like being the center of attention, but I do love the Happy Birthday's and the feeling-special-that-people-care feeling. The birthday monster has been visiting for nearly 28 years, and I seem to survive each year, but you just never know! So until the birthday monster comes and goes, I'll just sleep with one eye open. And maybe he'll bring me a puppy this year.

**If so, we'll also need a bed, a leash, a harness, puppy food, a brush, a toothbrush, puppy shampoo, carpet cleaner, a couple puppy toys, some allergy pills, a puppy sweater for the winter, and 4 puppy boots for the mountains. Oh, and a new camera for all the pictures.